Empaths and Narcissists

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This entry is going to be a short one.  I wish we didn’t have to talk about narcissists, but if you’re an empath, you’re gonna have to deal with them so . . .don’t–plain and simple. Nothing is as unattractive to an energy vampire as an empath who sets firm boundaries and has a ton of self-love.

I’ve found that narcissists just cannot be vulnerable and give love. They only know how to take. I think this might be why we try so hard to love them; it’s like a short-circuit we want to fix. We see them acting like they love us, yet we do not feel it. If this is the case, don’t stick around. You can love whoever you want, just be mindful who you spend your time with.

I’ve been hurt by many different types of energy vampires in my life, but I’m no victim. I attracted quite a few narcs because of my own self-destructive behavior.  I also went through a phase of obsessively trying to label and avoid anyone with narcissistic tendencies or full blown narcissistic personality disorder. What I found out is . . . you can’t avoid (or get rid of) them all and that’s okay because, “narcissists are catalysts of change in people’s lives: they stir up all the old wounds, scars and shadow elements in a person and force growth (source).” Yup. As much as I hate to admit it, they do help us grow.

Homework: Turn your attention away from the narcissist and his or her behaviors and look inward to your own growth and healing. Be positive with your self-talk and throw out perfectionism. List 5 things you are grateful for. Find things that you are passionate about and go do them. Know what you absolutely will not tolerate in a relationship or friendship. Feel love from others. Learn how to accept love and know that you are deserving of this love.

Suggested Reading: “Daring Greatly:  How the Courage to Be Vunerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” by Brene Brown

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