My first memory is a panic attack, or at least what felt like a panic attack. I remember waking up and suddenly seeing a person-shaped shadow move across the wall at the end of my bed. I completely froze. My throat went dry and I started hyperventilating. I was so terrified that I couldn’t even scream for help. Then just as suddenly as the shadow appeared, it was gone.
Metaphysically, panic attacks can signify the presence of spirit. When I set aside my psychology book and my rational mind, I am convinced that what I felt that night was spirit energy. It’s not like I wanted to see a ghost; I was four. But I did see something and I totally felt something so striking that it is my FIRST memory.
Even after that terrifying night, I continued to feel spirit energy. I felt so much in the basement of the old house we lived in when I was eight that I would sneak into my little brother’s room to sleep. When I was older and in college, my boyfriend lived in a house that was so old it was listed in the historical record of the area. There was totally the presence of a woman chillin’ in that house. I remember how he would laugh nervously when I told him there was a “presence” in the hallway. I wasn’t joking. I felt her there. I currently live in a 75-year-old house that used to freak me the hell out. I recently wrote a blog entry about it titled “Clear Your Energy and Your Home“. I’ve since learned how to conquer my fear of the spirit world and to trust my intuition.
As an adult, I rationalized that first “ghost” was probably a shadow from a passing car’s headlights reflecting on my wall. That explains it. However, to this day, I’ve never forgotten my strong reaction to that “shadow”. It wasn’t some green Slimer ghost. This is exactly how Hollywood distorts our reality of the spirit world. Ghosts (a.k.a. earthbounds) probably get a kick out of things like ghost tours and paranormal investigations. It’s the perfect environment for them to quietly siphon the fear/excitement energy from the people at these events. Think about other places (old and new) where intense emotions run rampant and earthbounds are likely lined up for the buffet of high quality energy: bars, dentist offices, law offices, movie theaters, even hospitals (especially psychiatric hospitals). If you want a little entertainment go on a ghost tour, watch a scary movie, or paranormal investigation TV show. If you really want to feel spirit energy, go to the dentist! Seriously though, once you start tuning into your natural intuitive gifts, I guarantee you will start feeling spirit energy in tons of places in no time.
I’m not scared of the dark or shadows anymore. I’m just aware of how spirit energy feels and how it works. . . and you can too. I bet you’ve had an experience similar to mine. You may not have seen a ghost like in the movies, but you sure remember what it felt like. Chances are you’ve been feeling this energy for a lot longer than you think.